Bizarro Blog Take Over: Day Two: Betty Rocksteady

To help celebrate Eraserhead Press's seventh annual New Bizarro Author Series, we decided to let the authors take control of our blog. Publisher Rose O'Keefe created this series as a gateway of sorts, to introduce hesitant readers to the wonderful world of bizarro! Garret Cook curated the series and they released a record breaking NINE titles last week for the 2015 set. 

You'll be treated to strange and fabulous original guest posts from a handful of the NBA authors all week long. Today, Betty Rocksteady dishes on the one thing that creeps me right the fuck out... SPIDERS: 

Arachnophobiapalooza

I'm not the sort of person who's bothered by creepy crawlies. I always liked snakes and frogs when I was a kid. Crickets and ants and centipedes and caterpillars? No big deal. Wasps and bees? Ignore 'em and they ignore you. Snails and slugs? Love 'em.

Spiders.

Spiders are different. I know they can't hurt me. Everytime you confess they ook you out, someone is bound to tell you how helpful and harmless they are. Sure, I know that. Most people know that. Arachnophobia is seldom related to an actual fear of what spiders can do. I know I'm way bigger than them. I know in the country I live in (sorry Australia) my chance of coming across a spider who can hurt me is slim to none.

But. Even looking at pictures of them or thinking about them too long makes me feel antsy, like their awful little legs are skittering all over me. I once read about this common phenomenon some people experience as they are drifting off to sleep, where they will suddenly feel the sensation of a spider dropping on their face from the ceiling, leading them to wake up and scramble around looking for this non-existent intruder in their bed. Even the idea of that happening gives me the creeps and keeps me awake sometimes.

There is a certain size of spider that is the worst for me. Tiny ones are fine. Those ones that hang out on your ceiling and don’t make webs and their legs are short and close to their body and they kinda hop? Fine. Huge spiders are okay too, they almost seem like a different kind of animal when they're big and furry like tarantulas. It’s the medium ones that are the worst. Fat black bellies and long spindly legs. Ugh.

I'm not alone. A ton of people are creeped out, afraid of, or disgusted by spiders. Usually the disgust response humans that get is related to animals or things that actually can hurt us. Disgust response is an important evolutionary trait - we are disgusted by things like feces, mucous, vomit, blood, or animals that carry disease. People who are afraid of spiders know they can't hurt us. The problem is more a feeling of intrinsic wrongness. They are too inhuman. Alien. They have too many legs and they skitter too fast and really, it's not something you can put into words, but there is something about them that screams at a large segment of the population to CRUSH KILL DESTROY.

The most common way of treating phobias is aversion response techniques. The idea is if you learn enough about them, you won't be as afraid of them. It makes sense. Humans are known to fear what they don’t understand, and spiders are so different from us that it could trigger that. But why don’t I feel it about other bugs and creeps that are different from me?

I accidentally experienced the effects of aversion response when I was writing Arachnophile. I read up a bit on spiders and watched a few short documentaries, just to get myself in the right squeamish mood. My fear of spiders used to lead me to avoid them or kill them when I could. The outside of my window at work often has fat black spiders hanging out, in an area where there was not much I could do about them. I used to try not to look at them, but now I find myself staring at them. They're still gross to me, but I'm almost fascinated about how gross I find them. Spiders in my house don't always get squashed anymore, I let them run along to whatever crevice they may find. If my cats happen to catch them first, well, so be it.

That morbid fascination is really interesting to me. It's almost like a guilty pleasure to be disgusted or horrified by something and then indulge yourself in learning about it. The line between love and fear blurs and one leaks into the other. I've heard that love and fear are the only two true emotions that humans are able to express, and everything else is just a subcategory of the two. The philosophy is that the two cannot coexist, and if you choose love you leave fear behind, but I don't think that is always true. The two can blend in completely unexpected ways, and I find a strange inspiration in that potion.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Betty Rocksteady is an eclectic author and illustrator from Canada. Her early exposure to Stephen King, The Weekly World News, and EC horror comics shaped her into the woman she is today. With art and fiction, she explores personal fears and resonances. She is not as creeped out by spiders as she used to be. Her short fiction has been published by Halloween Forevermore, Grievous Angel, and Another Realm. Learn more, and check out her macabre pen and ink art at www.bettyrocksteady.com. Keep in touch and keep up to date at www.facebook.com/bettyrocksteadyart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out Betty's debut bizarro book, 

part of the New Bizarro Author series from Erasrehead Press. 

Arachnophile

Hatred and desire collide when the girl next door is a giant spider

Alex’s arachnophobia may be old fashioned, but he’s able to live a life of relative peace despite it. That all changes when a spider moves in next door. His girlfriend is sick of his attitude and begs him to give the new neighbor a chance. He overcomes his fear, but finds a twisted sexuality in its place. His attraction to the spider affects all areas of his life, and changes everything he thought he knew. 

Bizarro Blog Take Over: Day One: Madeleine Swann

To help celebrate Eraserhead Press's seventh annual New Bizarro Author Series, we decided to let the authors take control of our blog. Publisher Rose O'Keefe created this series as a gateway of sorts, to introduce hesitant readers to the wonderful world of bizarro! Garret Cook curated the series and they released a record breaking NINE titles last week for the 2015 set. 

You'll be treated to strange and fabulous original guest posts from a handful of the NBA authors all week long. Today, Madeleine Swann's kicking things off with:

A Warning To All From The Anti Rainbow Freedom League

I'm writing this from a basement in the secret headquarters of the Anti-Rainbow Freedom League. Please, do not try to find or help me, it's too late for that now. We have failed in our mission - all I can do is broadcast the terrible truth of our Overlords and hope someone is more successful than we were.

Their oppression surrounds us each day and yet many are convinced of their benignity. That's a real word, I looked it up. They formed alliances with people from our planet, people like Lisa Frank. 

We remember her reign of tyranny, the factories that sprouted overnight and the loved ones who went in but never came out. Or, when they did, they were...different somehow. We began a campaign against Lisa but her minions were too strong and too many, and we were forced underground.

Some of us went mad, like The Westboro Baptist Church whose members had a complete psychotic break and confused the anti rainbow message with anti-absolutely-everything-living. We distance ourselves from them, I don't know why they hate gay people so much. Seriously, what is their problem?

Every time I look online I see new recruits to the rainbow regime. The latest addition is Lady Gaga, which makes me sad as she is a talented lady whom I thought was strong minded. Has she been brainwashed, or have the rainbows promised her riches beyond belief? Truly, no-one is safe. 

Previously we believed the only way to get our message out there was by subtle insinuation, as this short 'Lolcatz' by Scottish visual artist Rachel Maclean can certify. Her tale of a girl trapped in a malevolent rainbow world should have been enough to get the public thinking, perhaps even to fight back, but instead she has been assimilated. One visit to her website http://www.rachelmaclean.com/ shows yet another freedom fighter lost. 

 

The time for subtlety is over. We will not give up, we will never lose hope, but it is getting harder and harder to...I just heard a noise. Oh God, I think there's something in here. I can feel something. Please forward this message to as many people as you can. We must fight the rainbows! We cannot allow them to...take...we must...worship the rainbows. All hail the rainbows.

ALL HAIL THE RAINBOWS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Madeleine Swann's new bizarro author book for Eraserhead Press is Rainbows Suck. Her short story collection, The Filing Cabinet of Doom, was released in 2014 by Burning Bulb Publishing. Her stories appear in Tall Tales With Short Cocks Vol. 5, American Nightmare, The Strange Edge and Bizarro Central. 

Links: madeleineswann.com

Twitter https://twitter.com/MadeleineSwann

Podcasts: Little Grimton https://littlegrimton.wordpress.com/

Bizart https://bizartpodcast.wordpress.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check out Madeleine's debut bizarro book, 
part of the New Bizarro Author series from Erasrehead Press. 

Rainbows Suck 

Finally, the terrifying truth behind rainbows

Tilly, an aspiring artist has been chosen by a race of evil rainbows from space to become a work of art. Works of art are forced to entertain people and gain votes on a crazy reality program to avoid being devoured by the rainbows. What seemed like a dream becomes a nightmare as Tilly is forced to indulge in escalating acts of degradation and insanity to protect herself from these colorful abominations.

Rebecca Gransden's Would You Rather

Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's newest series is a fun, new, literary spin on the ole Would You Rather game. Get to know the authors we love to read in ways no other interviewer has. I've asked them to pick sides against the same 20 odd bookish scenarios. And just to spice it up a bit, each author gets to ask their own Would You Rather question to the author who appears after them....

Rebecca Gransden's

Would You Rather

Would you rather start every sentence in your book with ‘And’ or end every sentence with ‘but’?

‘And’ seems so much more hopeful! I think that using ‘And’ would create a quite maddening momentum, but there could evolve a zen-like effect after the initial adjustment. But ‘but’ would be infuriating, both in application and as a reading experience. I don’t think I’m that much of a sadist I’d want to inflict that on myself or anyone else.

Would you rather write in an isolated cabin that was infested with spiders or in a noisy coffee shop with bad musak?

Both noise and spiders are incredibly distracting but noise trumps everything else for me. Music is also crucial to the feel I’m trying to get whilst writing. I even made a playlist for anemogram that’s up on Youtube. It would be interesting to see what the results of writing under extreme Muzak duress would be, but I can see much more to be benefitted from the spider situation. Spiders are many things but generally noisy is not one of them. Their presence would create an interesting tension, which could inspire some rather feverish creativity. I’m doing a fun horror project at the moment so being in constant fear could add an immediacy to the writing.

Would you rather think in a language you could understand but write in one you couldn’t read, or think in a language you couldn’t understand but write in one you could read?

Instinctively the latter, as I feel this is pretty much what I do anyway.

Would you rather write the best book of your career and never publish it or publish a bunch of books that leave you feeling unsatisfied?

Easy. Write the best book I could and never have anyone see it.

Would you rather have everything you think automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every move?

Haha! I would destroy myself if every thought went straight to Twitter! It would be a very swift and dramatic end. I’ll save that inner voice as fuel for my writing exclusively. I think the slow unravelling that would be caused by an internal narrator would be a more worthwhile, if torturous, experience. Could I choose the voice? Werner Herzog please.

Would you rather your books be bound and covered with human skin or made out of tissue paper?

I quite like the idea of books bound with human skin, but there are some ethical considerations, such as where the skin is sourced. Perhaps it could be harvested after death along with other organs, or readers could donate skin to their favourite authors. It would be great to take lab grown skin, made with the author’s own genetic material, and cover our books with it. We do put so much of ourselves into our writing after all.

Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or have no one show up to your reading?

I’d rather no one show up whether I was naked or not.

  

Would you rather your book incite the world’s largest riot or be used as tinder in everyone’s fireplace?

This is actually a tough question! Riots are generally a bad thing. Destruction. People die. But they do clear the air. The act of burning any book does create that inner wince because of the connotations, but leaving that to one side it intrigues me that everyone now has an open fireplace. This implies that the world has finally entered the end times. If my book can warm someone as society crumbles then that is a gift I’m all too willing to give.

Would you rather give up your computer or pens and paper?

Pens and paper, obviously. Apart from the inescapable fact that I rarely use a pen and paper anyway, there is so much that a laptop is essential for as an indie author. I’d have to leave my house to do research, visit a library or some other kind of archive. The convenient aspects of writing on a computer make the whole process one which is far more about getting to your destination faster and with as little pain as possible.

Would you rather have every word of your favorite novel tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the background for the rest of your life?

I think it would be possible to forget about it if it was tattooed. It would be incredibly uncomfortable for me to have my words parroted back at me for any length of time, let alone for how long I’ve got left on this Earth. It would be great to leave instructions to be buried in a bog so that future generations may stumble across my preserved corpse and use the cryptic tale emblazoned across my skin as the basis of a new religion.

  

Would you rather meet your favorite author and have them turn out to be a total jerkwad or hate a book written by an author you are really close to?

Oh, meet someone I admired and them be insufferable, definitely. I’d get over it.

Would you rather your book have an awesome title with a really ugly cover or an awesome cover with a really bad title?

This question is such a trap! If pushed, I’d have to say a really great title. I suppose that if your book is going to be spread by word of mouth, when it’s referred to the title is important. I wouldn’t want anything that caused indignation or amusement in that way. Bad covers can be the most memorable, so at least an impression of my book would stick in the mind, even if it’s not a good one.

Would you rather write beautiful prose with no point or write the perfect story badly?

This hits home, but the answer is easy. Perfect story every time. It has to be there, whatever you are doing. Self-indulgence is fun, and there are readers who appreciate those games, but the novelty wears off quickly and it’s just not what I’m about.

Would you rather write only embarrassingly truthful essays or write nothing at all?

The world does not need more confessionals so I’d put down the pen. There’s a type of egoist pursuit involved in putting your guts out on show that I find uncomfortable. There are other ways to expression, and whilst bleeding into the typewriter is the way to the work, the work should not be a way to bleed.

Would you rather your book become an instant best seller that burns out quickly and is forgotten forever or be met with mediocre criticism but continue to sell well after you’re gone?

I’d like to get the writing done whilst I’m alive and leave any other considerations until after death. This is the ideal situation for me. There is something comforting about having people gravitate to any of my writing in a slow way over time. To persist maybe means that some kind of enduring chord has been struck. I couldn’t ask for more than that, even if those who criticized me in a mediocre fashion did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rebecca Gransden lives by the sea in the United Kingdom. She writes mainly short stories and has recently self-published her first novel. Supports indie authors with great passion. Her writing tends to focus on forgotten or neglected people and places. She likes documentaries and music plays an essential part in the creation of her stories.

Melanie Reviews: The Rabbi's Cat

The Rabbi’s Cat by Joann Sfar

Translated from French by Alexis Siegel and Anjali Singh

Pages: 142

Publisher: Pantheon Books

Released: 2005

Reviewed by Melanie Page

Last month, I review Sfar’s collection of four stories in one graphic novel called Vampire Loves. I was amused by the simplicity of the storytelling, a delightful feature of European books I don’t often see in American graphic novels. The Rabbi’s Cat was much, much better, and I’m sad to say that my copy is from the library. The story is set in Algeria in the 1930s and follows a cat that lives with his owners, a rabbi (his Master) and the rabbi’s daughter (his Mistress).

While I loved the story of Ferdinand the vampire, there wasn’t much continuity between the four separate stories. The Rabbi’s Cat is one story, which allowed me to see the characters grow. The rabbi’s cat, which has no name other than “cat,” thinks and learned to read alongside his Mistress. However, when he eats the annoying pet parrot, he gains the ability to speak. The cat is a liar, but tells the truth when it hurts others. For example, his Master says the cat must be a Jew, so they consult the rabbi’s rabbi to see if the cat can have a bar-mitzvah. The cat does not like the rabbi’s rabbi and says mean things about him to his Master:

“So you have no master, but you don’t want to admit that, do you, because you don’t want to end up old and alone and without anyone to turn to when you don’t understand anything. So you’re going to do all you can to make the old man look good. And the more foolishness he talks, the more you’ll call him ‘my master, my master, my master,’ as if to convince yourself.”

This is a philosophical sort of graphic novel that gets readers asking questions about religion. The questions the cat asks stumps religious men: “I ask [the rabbi’s rabbi] to show me a picture of God. He says that God is a word.” Sfar draws the old man with a perplexed look, finger to chin in thought.

He is a challenging cat, one who asks a lot of questions about Judaism when the rabbi tries to teach him in preparation for becoming Jewish.

The cat, here, acts like an absolute insulting jerk.

The cat listens skeptically as his master explains.

Look at that mean, awful face! The cat is rude toward the rabbi’s rabbi, and he demeans the lessons from his Master’s religion.

The cat isn’t always a jerk, though; here, he accepts his masters answer as more reasonable, and we see the kindness on the Master’s face.

The cat’s honesty is refreshing, but hurts his rabbi. To make up for it, the cat pretends he can’t speak and meows incessantly. The rabbi responds that “once you’ve left the Garden of Eden, you can’t go back.” This is a nice lesson on considering our words and what they do to the spirit of others. While honesty is praised, it’s not always desired.

The style of writing is unusual. It sounds like the cat is sitting here and telling me the story. Notice that his narration is present tense, but always begins subject + verb: I ask, I say, he tells, I tell, he gets, etc. This predictable pattern may sound dry, but it lulled me into happy contentment, and it was a style of storytelling that I didn’t notice until I was under its spell.

The cat’s speech abilities are short lived. When he tries to help his Master do well on a test, he prays to God, actually saying God’s name: “Adonai.” The story tells us that Jews are not supposed to say the direct name of God, and Sfar suggests that by using God’s name to help the rabbi, the cat is punished by losing his ability to speak. Cat goes on to listen and narrate, but Sfar suggests people of Jewish faith not be so bold as to invoke God when they should fear Him. The cat may have challenged Judaism, and the rabbi will as well later in the story, but for now there seems to be a direct disobedience-punishment correlation.

I am not a religious person, so I wondered how a story centered on a cat and Judaism would go over with me. The growth of the characters stems from religion, but the experiences extend to people of all, or no, faith, and I liked that universality. In fact, Sfar shows that humor is ubiquitous when the Master and his nephew Rebibo  try to get his cat to talk so a talent agent will hire them: “I tried my best, I really did,” thinks the cat, who, of course, can no longer speak. “MRAOW!” He adds, “Mraow! Mraow! Mraow!” The talent agent yells for the Master and the cat to stop the nonsense, but then “the dog thought he should intervene” The stray dog they picked up begins jumping around and dancing on his hind legs: “WOOF!” The talent agent is not impressed, and the whole scene comes off like a comedy of errors as these animals do their best to help the kind rabbi and his nephew.

The cat also develops human worries when he gains the ability to speak. He has terrible nightmares about losing his beloved Mistress, and in his dreams he lies to himself, saying she’s okay, that she’s just on vacation. The water in the image implies the cat is overwhelmed with fear of suffocation in an emotional sense, and we see the water line rise above his face.

Sfar’s drawings in general look haphazard, reflecting the way we dash through life and how messy it can be. The cat always looks cat-like: curled up, standing on papers, in the way, curious, draped over his Mistress’s lap. Yet, he looks odd to me. See how long his face is in the image above? It turns out that Sfar’s own cat looks just like that:

Melanie Page has an MFA from the University of Notre Dame and is an adjunct instructor in Indiana. She is the creator of Grab the Lapels, a site that publishes book reviews and interviews of folks who identify as women at grabthelapels.com.

Page 69: Moon Up, Past Full

Today, we are thrilled to be  kicking off the blog tour for Eric Shonkwiler's Moon Up, Past Full. Eric is quickly becoming one of my favorite contemporary writers. If you haven't picked up one of his books yet, I strongly encourage that you do. 

To get this party started, we've asked Eric to put his collection to the test. 

Disclaimer: The Page 69 Test is not mine. It has been around since 2007, asking authors to compare page 69 against the meat of the actual story it is a part of. I loved the whole idea of it and so I'm stealing it specifically to showcase small press titles - novels, novellas, short story collections, the works! So until the founder of The Page 69 Test calls a cease and desist, let's do this thing....

Okay, Eric, set up page 69 for us.

This is fairly early on in the longest story of the collection. “GO21” is a novella about three friends who flee their homes in a small city in the wake of a meteoric explosion over Earth, which knocks out communication and causes considerable panic across America. Page 69 finds these friends on the road to a cabin in the woods, where they intend to seek shelter with a doomsday prepper. 

What is Moon Up, Past Full about?

Moon Up, Past Full is a large collection of novellas and stories that all tend to focus on blue-collar people having a hell of a time trying to get by. In it are stories of dysfunctional families, war veterans, drug addicts, and a few stranger tales involving a ghost, a witch, and zombies—which brings us back to “GO21.”    

   

Do you think this page gives our readers an accurate sense of what this book is about? Does it align itself with the book’s overall theme?

I would have, at first blush, told you that “GO21” and anything in it aren’t really representative of the collection—“GO” is a bit of a suspenseful thriller, which is odd for me—but I’ve found that page 69 actually contains a goodly part of what this book is all about. There’s the road, bickering, soldiers, and that backcountry feel. Mashed all together, I’d say it’s surprisingly accurate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PAGE 69

MOON UP, PAST FULL

Excerpt from GO21

A school and parking lot passed on the right. There were sheets of paper all over the message board out front. Notes for people out of touch.

After the hundredth round of stations, Thom reached over for the stereo and popped out the faceplate, tossing it to the floor. You’re driving me nuts with that.

You coulda just said so.

Thom stayed facing forward. The road progressed under them, humming. Gibbs pointed him left at an intersection in the middle of nowhere, a giant dead oak towering over the traffic light. They wended up a road to a three-way intersection just outside of a town. There was a warehouse-like garage ahead of them and, hanging from a tree, two carcasses, red and pink and white. Before Abbi could say anything, Gibbs called them as deer.

Are you sure? Abbi said.

You wouldn’t drain a person.

If you were eating them, you would.

If you were on bath salts, you wouldn’t. He rolled his eyes and lifted a tired finger on down the road.

Thom took the turn, and they slowed coming into the town. Rows of train tracks beside an overpass for a state route, gas stations and grain silos. A slab of pavement in every direction but behind them. The town was quiet, one car passing them headed the other way, gas stations already closed up. There was a giant mural on the side of a building, an archway into a summertime scene, a market or festival, and the color was like a hole punched through the drab scenery. They neared a grocery store, and the entrances were blocked with rows of shopping carts. No police around. Gibbs pointed them left again, and they worked their way out of town.

How much farther? I got about seventy miles left in the tank.

We’ll make it, easy. Don’t worry.

They were supposed to turn on at Highway 33, but it was barricaded and even the overpass itself was guarded by two canvas-backed military trucks, a few soldiers with gasmasks loose on their chests and rifles in the air. Thom started to turn them around, and Gibbs held up his hand.

Lemme see what the boys are up to. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and flipped it open for his ID card. He stepped out of the car slowly, holding the ID aloft and his other hand well away from his chest. Two of the nearby soldiers came forward, rifles now pointed toward the Civic, at the ground.

He’s gonna get himself killed, Abbi said.

One of the soldiers stepped wide. The other came forward and took the card from Gibbs, read it, and handed it back. He was smiling. They gestured back and forth, to the overpass and to the highway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BOOK TOUR GIVEAWAY!
Alternating Current will be giving away 10 DRM-Free Digital Packages (containing PDF, ePUB, mobi, full cover art, and other digital goodies!) of Moon Up, Past Full to 10 random people who promote any aspect of the book or book tour between now and November 30, 2015. To enter, use the hashtag #MoonUp, tag the author or Alternating Current at @eshonkwiler, @altcurrent, F: alternatingcurrentartscoop, +AlternatingCurrentPress, Ello: @altcurrent, or send Alternating Current a link (alt.current [at] gmail.com) if you promote elsewhere or anywhere. The most exuberant promoter will win a HAND-ENGRAVED SHOTGLASS!

Eric Shonkwiler is the author of the Luminaire Award for Best Prose-winning story collection Moon Up, Past Full (Alternating Current, 2015), and the novel Above All Men (MG Press, 2014), which won the Coil Book Award for Best Book and was chosen as a Midwest Connections Pick by the Midwest Independent Booksellers Association. He has had writing appear in Los Angeles Review of Books, The Millions, The Lit Pub, and elsewhere. He was born and raised in Ohio, received his MFA from University of California-Riverside, and has lived and worked in every contiguous U.S. time zone.

Book Review: Anomaly Flats

Read 10/24/15 - 11/4/15
3 Stars - Recommended to readers who don't try to anticipate where a book will lead them
Pages: 238
Publisher: Dapper Press
Released: October 2015



Welcome to Anomaly Flats, a strange little town out in the middle of nowhere that's tough to find and even tougher to leave behind. From the all night diner that only serves waffles and clumpy coffee to the hypnotic night sky and corn fields of insanity, why would you ever want to leave?

Well, Mallory Jenkins can think of a million reasons. On her way to Canada with a Jansport bag filled with something worth running away for, she gets detoured down a back road and finds herself stranded in Anomaly Flats when her car dies as soon as she enters the town. Forced to hang out for a few days til the drooling, brain damaged mechanic can rebuild her alternator, Mallory quickly befriends Lewis, a nerdy scientist who's made the Flats his home after having been sent a letter from his future self.

Lewis exposes her to the things that make the town, well, an anomaly. Oddities like a working traffic light in the middle of the woods; a creek of flowing plasma that manipulates organic matter; two square feet of Mars just chilling out over the ridge. That's right. Part of the planet Mars, nestled quietly within the town's boundaries. Oh, and let's not forget about the horrors that live behind the canned goods in Aisle 8 of the Walmart.

During one of their outings, Mallory pulls a prank on Lewis that ends up having dire consequences and puts everyone in the Flats, and the rest of the planet, in imminent danger. Will Mallory quit being a self centered disbeliever long enough to help save the world from the evil she's unleashed? Or will she attempt to high tail it outta town and leave Lewis to clean up her mess?

One part Wayward Pines, and many parts Twilight Zone, Anomaly Flats is just about the creepiest town I've had the pleasure of reading about. From the secretive towns-folks to the constant and strange goings-on, readers are left with no choice but to keep turning the pages to figure out just what the heck is happening there.

And really, hats off to Clayton and his publishing company Dapper Press for coming up with one of the best promotional campaigns I have ever seen for a book. From the "Department of Tourism" travel posters and book trailer to the community updates via its twitter account and Review Lab exclusive giveaway, the hype was quite impressive. So impressive actually, that I worry the book doesn't quite hold up under it all.

I was an immediate fan of Clayton Smith after having read his zombie-novel Apocalypticon. And though I enjoyed Anomaly Flats, I felt it just wasn't in the same league. Sure, his characters were infused with similar witticisms and our protag Mallory wasn't without Smith's trademark sarcasm, but the story telling in Anomaly Flats just seemed.. rushed, for lack of a better word. I wish Clayton had spent more time delving into the uncanny mysteries and eerie anomalies of the town. This is a book that requires its location and setting to be as big of a character as those who actually populate it.

That aside, Anomaly Flats is fun, fast paced, and fabulously funny in its foreboding darkness.

Indie Ink Runs Deep: Julian Jones

Every now and then I manage to talk a small press author into showing us a little skin... tattooed skin, that is. I know there are websites and books out there that have been-there-done-that already, but I hadn't seen one with a specific focus on the authors and publishers of the small press community. Whether it's the influence for their book, influenced by their book, or completely unrelated to the book, we get to hear the story behind their indie ink....


Today's ink story comes from Julian Jones. His debut novel, Bohunk's Big To Do, is self published and evokes elements of Southern Gothic fiction within a story that is firmly rooted in, and influenced by, a Midwestern setting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All I had ever wanted of a tattoo was decoration.  Nevermind the bold statement about my beliefs or preferences.  Hold the official declaration of personal policy.  No thank you to the label.  I preferred to remain open to change.  A mere adornment of flesh would suffice.

An anchor and a heart; maybe a banner that said…something.  That’s what I wanted: cliché, colorfully imagined, and expertly drawn; something Pierre et Gilles might dust with glitter and canonize in an aquatic theme.    

Or, you know, something pretty to draw the eye to my remarkable guns.    

That was in the mid-1990s.  I strived for months to get my arms primed for ornamentation.  Just when I was ready to think seriously about going under the needle, Winona Ryder showed up on a magazine cover emblazoned with an ink pen heart and anchor tattoo.  Imagine how cute.  Hers was strictly a surface embellishment, immediately watered down and wiped away, but I wouldn’t risk the comparison for ten more years. 

I first wrote Bohunk’s Big To-Do as a 65-page novella in the mid-2000s.  Just before that, I had reconnected with a no-good party boy I never stood a chance of matching.  Watching city lights one night from a hillside path in Eagle Rock he liked to call Rubber Ridge, I renewed my enthusiasm for a birthday tattoo: the anchor, the heart, the banner that still said nothing.  In keeping with the spirit of ornamental cliché, I offered ‘Mom’ half-heartedly.  “Except make it upside down,” he said.  “Wow!”  He suggested it and laughed his dullard laugh.

Wow.  A reminder of life’s surprises: maybe good, maybe bad, but always unexpected.  Precisely the reason I hadn’t wanted to take a stand with my tattoo.  The party boy had one good idea.  I loved it and got the tattoo.  Life has lived up to Wow ever since.    

From my upside down perspective, though, the banner always says ‘Mom’ to me.  It is a tribute to my own mother certainly: her surprising choices; her right to make them; how well she rose to the challenge of mothering my special needs; my distinct relationship with her, as the connections of all parents are unique to each child.  

And, though not understood so at the time, the word on my arm was the brand of another woman named Mom: the first muse to gain my confidence for the arduous task of novel-writing.  Back then, I began listening to Bohunk’s mom, believing the story of Bohunk’s Big To-Do was hers to tell.  In the end, she served more as matchmaker than muse; introduced me to her son and stepped quickly to one side.  When the ink on my arm had dried, I began to hear the fuller story of Bohunk’s Big To-Do in Bo’s own voice. 

In due time, I RSVP’d no to the party boy’s invitation and found my way down from Rubber Ridge. 

The banner of my tattoo says ‘Wow’ because one seedy night on a hill above Los Angeles I rejoiced in the fact that life is always a surprise.  But for me, from my easiest view of it, my anchor and heart tattoo says ‘Mom’ – not so typically after all.

To see the Wow the party boy wanted I have to look in a mirror.      

Adrian James' Would You Rather

Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's newest series is a fun, new, literary spin on the ole Would You Rather game. Get to know the authors we love to read in ways no other interviewer has. I've asked them to pick sides against the same 20 odd bookish scenarios. And just to spice it up a bit, each author gets to ask their own Would You Rather question to the author who appears after them....

Adrian James' 

Would You Rather

Would you rather start every sentence in your book with ‘And’ or end every sentence with ‘but’?

‘But’ is a far more interesting word, which implies all sorts of challenges to the reader’s views, so I’ll go for that!

Would you rather write in an isolated cabin that was infested with spiders or in a noisy coffee shop with bad musak?

Spiders aren’t one of my phobias, and there’d be peace and quiet, so definitely the cabin. Although if it was rats in the cabin I’d go for the coffee shop every time!

Would you rather think in a language you could understand but write in one you couldn’t read, or think in a language you couldn’t understand but write in one you could read?

I’d rather be able to think more clearly as it would all be there in my head. The writing would just be a mechanical process, and others could tell me if it read well!

Would you rather write the best book of your career and never publish it or publish a bunch of books that leave you feeling unsatisfied?

As someone who’s actively chosen to self-publish rather than seek a publisher, I’d have to say the former, as very few people may read it anyway! I’d rather write something I like, as I don’t see myself as a “career” writer.

Would you rather have everything you think automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every move?

The first would be hell. It would be quite cool for a while to have a running internal commentary of your actions, especially if you could choose the voice!

Would you rather your books be bound and covered with human skin or made out of tissue paper?

The first would be too weird. I think the second, then if someone had a cold whilst they were reading, they could rip out each page and use it after they’d read it.

Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or have no one show up to your reading?

I’d read naked and hold the book in a strategic position. Although the sight of me naked would clear the packed room anyway.

Would you rather your book incite the world’s largest riot or be used as tinder in everyone’s fireplace?

The riot definitely. There’s not enough of them.

Would you rather give up your computer or pens and paper?

As someone who remembers a time before computers, I’d keep my pens and paper. Life was much simpler then!

Would you rather have every word of your favorite novel tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the background for the rest of your life?

Tattoos definitely. I’ve never had the bottle to get one!

Would you rather meet your favorite author and have them turn out to be a total jerkwad or hate a book written by an author you are really close to?

I don’t care what authors are like in “real life”. As long as they’re not harming others. It is possible for nasty people to make good art. I’d rather they didn’t write a poor book, as if I loved them I’d feel duty bound to read it all.

Would you rather your book have an awesome title with a really ugly cover or an awesome cover with a really bad title?

I’d rather have a good title. Then I’d change the cover on the second print!

Would you rather write beautiful prose with no point or write the perfect story badly?

I’d rather read a good story. Beauty in writing style is in the eye of the beholder. Lots of people hate Irvine Welsh’s writing style. I love it.

Would you rather write only embarrassingly truthful essays or write nothing at all?

If I couldn’t write what I wanted I’d rather not write at all.

Would you rather your book become an instant best seller that burns out quickly and is forgotten forever or be met with mediocre criticism but continue to sell well after you’re gone?

Apart from hoping for health and happiness for my loved ones, I don’t care what happens after I die. Something that made a massive impact would be much more fun, however short-lived. At least you’ve had your 15 minutes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrian James lives with his partner and two boys in Richmond, in the North of England. He's played bass guitar in a host of unsuccessful bands for the last twenty years. "Recovered" is his first novel. You can find out more about the book here: http://www.facebook.com/recoverednovel and here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Recovered-Adrian-James-ebook/dp/B00XJYPHN4/