Eat Like an Author: Nick Antosca's Avocado Egg Thing

When most people get bored, they eat. When I get bored, I brainstorm new series and features for the blog, and THEN eat. And not too long ago, as I was brainstorming and contemplating what I wanted to eat, I thought how cool it would be to have a mini-foodie series where authors share the things they like to eat. Photos and recipes and all. And so I asked them, and amazingly they responded, and I dubbed it EAT LIKE AN AUTHOR. 

Our debut recipe comes from Nick Antosca and it's a mean green healthy fat kind of thing. I'd love to know if any of you are brave enough to give this recipe a try. Drop a comment here if you do!

NICK ANTOSCA’S AVOCADO EGG THING

This is what I eat for lunch on any weekend when I’m eating at home.  I ate it yesterday.  I like it because it combines one of my favorite combinations of foods – avocado and feta cheese.  It’s also pretty high-fat, I think, but the good kind of fat? 

All you need are three things – an avocado, a couple of eggs, and some feta cheese.

The first thing I do is peel the avocado and put it in a bowl, then mash it up like you’re making guacamole.  (You could also throw some guacamole ingredients in there if you want, but I don’t.)

Look at this avocado.  Avocado is one of my favorite foods of all time.  I’m grateful to nature for making something so rich and buttery.  I’ve probably eaten an average of one whole avocado a day every day for the last two years.

Then I add feta cheese to it.  As I said, this is one of my favorite combinations of foods.  When I was a kid, my mother used to get me to eat salad by putting avocado and feta cheese in the salad. Then I would just throw away the rest of the salad and eat only the avocado and feta cheese.  To this day I don’t understand why anyone puts lettuce in salads.  Lettuce is nothing!  Vaguely bitter-tasting, insubstantial, stringy.  Spinach, arugula, fine.  But lettuce makes everything worse.  It’s the filler on the album.  Now we don’t listen to albums anymore, we just download the good songs.  We should stop putting lettuce in salads.

After the feta cheese, I add two eggs.  Then I mix it all together.  It becomes a high-protein (right?) green slop.

Then I pour it into a pan and cook it with a RED SPATULA.

I cook it like scrambled eggs, which is all it is, basically, except with a somewhat more creamy consistency because it’s primarily avocado, not egg.  The clumps get a nice delicate golden-brown crust, and they’re warm and creamy/buttery inside.  The  crumbles of feta cheese melt and become little salt-bombs.

When it’s done, I put it on a plate and it becomes this gross-looking but delicious situation that I eat standing up at my kitchen counter, which is how I would eat all meals if I could.

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Nick Antosca is a novelist and screenwriter.  His short story collection, The Girlfriend Game, is out now, and he also writes for JJ Abrams and Alfonso Cuarón's new show Believe, coming to NBC next March.