Monday, November 16, 2015

Bizarro Blog Take Over: Day One: Madeleine Swann

To help celebrate Eraserhead Press's seventh annual New Bizarro Author Series, we decided to let the authors take control of our blog. Publisher Rose O'Keefe created this series as a gateway of sorts, to introduce hesitant readers to the wonderful world of bizarro! Garret Cook curated the series and they released a record breaking NINE titles last week for the 2015 set. 

You'll be treated to strange and fabulous original guest posts from a handful of the NBA authors all week long. Today, Madeleine Swann's kicking things off with:

A Warning To All From The Anti Rainbow Freedom League

I'm writing this from a basement in the secret headquarters of the Anti-Rainbow Freedom League. Please, do not try to find or help me, it's too late for that now. We have failed in our mission - all I can do is broadcast the terrible truth of our Overlords and hope someone is more successful than we were.
Their oppression surrounds us each day and yet many are convinced of their benignity. That's a real word, I looked it up. They formed alliances with people from our planet, people like Lisa Frank. 

We remember her reign of tyranny, the factories that sprouted overnight and the loved ones who went in but never came out. Or, when they did, they were...different somehow. We began a campaign against Lisa but her minions were too strong and too many, and we were forced underground.
Some of us went mad, like The Westboro Baptist Church whose members had a complete psychotic break and confused the anti rainbow message with anti-absolutely-everything-living. We distance ourselves from them, I don't know why they hate gay people so much. Seriously, what is their problem?

Every time I look online I see new recruits to the rainbow regime. The latest addition is Lady Gaga, which makes me sad as she is a talented lady whom I thought was strong minded. Has she been brainwashed, or have the rainbows promised her riches beyond belief? Truly, no-one is safe. 

Previously we believed the only way to get our message out there was by subtle insinuation, as this short 'Lolcatz' by Scottish visual artist Rachel Maclean can certify. Her tale of a girl trapped in a malevolent rainbow world should have been enough to get the public thinking, perhaps even to fight back, but instead she has been assimilated. One visit to her website shows yet another freedom fighter lost. 


The time for subtlety is over. We will not give up, we will never lose hope, but it is getting harder and harder to...I just heard a noise. Oh God, I think there's something in here. I can feel something. Please forward this message to as many people as you can. We must fight the rainbows! We cannot allow them to...take...we must...worship the rainbows. All hail the rainbows.


Madeleine Swann's new bizarro author book for Eraserhead Press is Rainbows Suck. Her short story collection, The Filing Cabinet of Doom, was released in 2014 by Burning Bulb Publishing. Her stories appear in Tall Tales With Short Cocks Vol. 5, American Nightmare, The Strange Edge and Bizarro Central. 

Podcasts: Little Grimton


Check out Madeleine's debut bizarro book, 
part of the New Bizarro Author series from Erasrehead Press. 

Rainbows Suck 

Finally, the terrifying truth behind rainbows

Tilly, an aspiring artist has been chosen by a race of evil rainbows from space to become a work of art. Works of art are forced to entertain people and gain votes on a crazy reality program to avoid being devoured by the rainbows. What seemed like a dream becomes a nightmare as Tilly is forced to indulge in escalating acts of degradation and insanity to protect herself from these colorful abominations.

1 comment:

  1. I was totally a Lisa Frank minion in the early 90s. It was the best, much like asking people to tell you what they want (what they really, really want). Is it to be lovers? Who knows, but it's a good idea to get platform tennis shoes so you can see above the fog of 90s references.