R. J. Erbacher's
Would You Rather
Would you rather start every sentence in
your book with ‘And’ or end every sentence with ‘but’?
And that would be my way of keeping you
wanting more; effective, anticipatory, inclusive but…
Would you rather write in an isolated cabin
that was infested with spiders or in a noisy coffee shop with bad musak?
Spiders are pretty good company and
inspiring to watch and an isolated cabin sounds dreamy. There’s nothing
in the noisy coffee shop that interests me, except the coffee.
Would you rather think in a language you
could understand but write in one you couldn’t read, or think in a language you
couldn’t understand but write in one you could read?
I’m trying to figure out if I should answer
this in a language you couldn’t understand or read. To be honest most of
the things in my head are already hard to understand but I would have to be
able to read what I wrote in order to keep my sanity.
Would you rather write the best book of
your career and never publish it or publish a bunch of books that leave you
feeling unsatisfied?
Neither of these sounds very good but I
suppose that’s the point of these questions to gauge what the lesser of a
person’s two evils are. I think I would have to publish and be
unsatisfied just to be satisfied. A great book that sits in a locked
draw, no matter how glorious it is, would never satisfy me. I don’t think
it would for most writers. To feel that I’ve reached people and
accomplished a goal, someone would have to read it other than me.
Would you rather have everything you think
automatically appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate
your every move?
The voice in my head already does
that. Doesn’t everybody’s?
Would you rather your books be bound and
covered with human skin or made out of tissue paper?
Oh, human skin sounds fascinating.
Have you read my stories?
Would you rather read naked in front of a
packed room or have no one show up to your reading?
Unfortunately I’ve already experienced the
latter so I’d go for the first. Ten seconds after I walked out on stage
naked there would be no one there anyway.
Would you rather your book incite the
world’s largest riot or be used as tinder in everyone’s fireplace?
I don’t think either will happen though I’d
be okay with both. If everyone was tossing it in the hearth I’d be
selling an awful lot of copies. If I was inciting mob scenes at least I’d
be topical and controversial and newsworthy. If you put a gun to my head
for a decision I’d don the riot gear and head out into the fracas.
Would you rather give up your computer or
pens and paper?
Easy, the computer. Once the
electrical apocalypse happens we’ll only have pens and paper anyway.
That’s still actually how I do most of my writing.
Would you rather have every word of your
favorite novel tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the
background for the rest of your life?
I actually enjoy listening to books on CD’s
so I would approve of the articulating sound track and I’ve already explained
about my nakedness repulsion, covering it with tattoos won’t help.
Would you rather meet your favorite author
and have them turn out to be a total jerkwad or hate a book written by an
author you are really close to?
I think most writers are already jerkwads,
damn I know I am, so that wouldn’t be much of a shock. It think it would
also be very hard to remain close to someone whose work I can’t stand so that
defines that question. Besides Stephen King is my favorite author and if
I got to meet him I could care less if he was a serial killer. Wait,
maybe he is!
Would you rather your book have an awesome
title with a really ugly cover or an awesome cover with a really bad title?
I feel strongly that a good cover will draw
the potential reader into taking a peek at your words and then you have the
opportunity to hook them. A great title is not going to win them over if
the cover looks like crap.
Would you rather write beautiful prose with
no point or write the perfect story badly?
I think I’ve done both. As far as
prosperity sake goes a bad perfect story will endure over stylish fluff (won’t
sell as many copies though).
Would you rather write only embarrassingly
truthful essays or write nothing at all?
All of the stuff I write has some form of
my embarrassing life in it somewhere so I’m used to that. To not write at
all would be like being in a vegetative state.
Would you rather your book become an
instant best seller that burns out quickly and is forgotten forever or be met
with mediocre criticism but continue to sell well after you’re gone?
At this point I’ll take either.
Please! I suppose I would like to be remembered in the long run as
someone who made a difference even if it was in a small way to a limited group
of people. I would still take the fleeting best seller though.
Please!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
R. J. Erbacher has been
writing for over forty years, mostly for his own satisfaction. He wrote,
edited and published “Warrior Poets: The Magazine of Medieval Poetry” in the
mid 90’s. His first book “Coffee and Fate” was published in 2010 in
limited release and was adorned with unanimous book blogger praise. His
new novel “Love Letters and other Passages of Darkness” is a collection of Dark
Drama Short Stories. He lives in Long Island, New York with his wife of
33 years and three daughters. Someday he hopes to be a real writer.
Thanks for the opportunity to contribute to your bizarre round-table of questions. I'm having a reading and book signing for "Love Letters and Other Passages of Darkness" on October 22 at the Barnes & Noble in Carle Place, NY. If you're in the area please stop by and say hello. -R. J. Erbacher
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