Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A Good Chair is Hard to Find

Tis the season and that all crap. Oh yes, the holidays are here and this Mr. and Mrs. Claus haven't even started their christmas shopping yet... for anyone...! We are extreme last-minute shoppers. We do it every year, even on the years where we've been talking about getting out there early. We just. can't. seem. to do it.

So here I am, on Turkey Eve, scouring the internet for a cool reading chair for my youngest son. He's got this great space beneath his bunk bed (we removed the bottom bunk) with a bookshelf for all of his books and a lamp, but no chair. We're thinking of hanging a curtain in front, to make it more like a "reading cave", and we want a super funky cool chair for him to lounge in while he's in there reading. The space is kinda tight, so it can't be anything outrageously large.

In my search through the interwebs, I stumbled across these:

I really love this one. It's perfect for my son. He's a big baseball fan, so the Mitt Chair would please him to no end. Not to mention that it looks really cool and comfy too, with a sturdy base to keep him upright no matter how hard he might lean back against those fingers! And it'll match his walls. My only gripe? Depending on the size, the thing runs anywhere from $110 -$250 smackers. Oy! I think the Mini Mitt($110 version) might be too small, and if it's not now, it will be soon enough, which means I'd have to cough up the larger fee to get my money's worth.

I thought the Saucer Chair was pretty cool too. Similar to the Mitt, it's plushy and comfy, perhaps a bit more comfortable - at least from the looks of it. Also like the Mitt, it's got the sturdy base and comes in an acceptable color. And oh yea, the price is an astronomical $210 bucks. I mean, does the term "reasonably priced" mean anything anymore?

So my heart is set on putting one of these things under the tree for him, but not at those prices. Hell, at that rate, he'd have the chair and very little else to open on Christmas morning. I'm counting on you, practically pleading... oh internet guru you... to help me find these - or something similar to these - at much more reasonable pricing. Did I mention that I would love you forever? 

While you scour the internet to save my son's Christmas... I wanted to share these downright frightening, these-are-what-nightmares-are-made-of reading chairs. They are like the medieval-torture-device versions of anti-reading chairs! Just thinking of these break me out into a cold sweat: 

This thing looks like some kind of alien abduction device, doesn't it? The last thing it says to me is "sit and read". And what if I attempted to rock in it? What's gonna stop it from rocking all the way around? It should come with a special lap belt or something.. but then again.. that would make it appear more like an alien abduction device so I'll pass. 

Ah yes. The good ole book cave. This thing looks great in photos, doesn't it? A bookshelf with a built in reading nook. See, there is a reason they have a child sitting in there reading. I had the pleasure of seeing this puppy up close and personal at BEA 2011, and let me tell you, that thing is not very roomy. A full grown human is gonna feel a wee bit claustrophobic in there. Trust me! Not to mention, hello - you are practically sitting on the floor, so how the hell do you get outta there... on your knees??

This is another great looking reading area, you know? I mean, in theory, it looks really hot. I especially dig the hot pink on grey scheme they've got going on. But again, notice the lack of a real life adult human in the photo. They needed to go with a plastic 62-points-of-articulation dummy because no living breathing human being who ever wishes to continue living and breathing a pain-free life would ever sit in that thing. Look at how incredibly UNcomfortable it is. Whose body bends that way? You've gotta be made of rubber to make that bench seat work. 

I think I need some help with this one. I can't quite figure out what the hell is going on here. Am I supposed to put my head against the A, and my legs over the back of the U? Is that supposed to be comfortable? It looks incredibly hard and sharp and unforgiving. Not to mention ugly as all get-out. Whoever designed this thing needs to be sent back to the drawing board. I might like to read books that contain letters, but that doesn't mean I want to sit my ass inside of them!

This dude must LOVE going to the dentist. This chair screams "Open up and say Ahhhhh.." which is the exact opposite of what a reading chair should say. If you think for one second that I'm going to plop my ass into this thing, you've lost your mind, you sick fuck! Also, can you say pins and needles? 

I originally looked at these and thought... awww.. how cute. A his and hers indoor swing set. Then I thought they looked like bird nests, you know, the ones for finches that you stuff into the back of their cages in the hopes that they'll mate and hatch little baby finches. Then I thought once you sat down, what stops that strange ass chair from sucking you in swallowing you whole and how the hell would you ever get back out? Maybe it's like one of those venus fly trap things.. only for people. No matter how you swing it, I ain't getting anywhere near one of those!

This one just confuses me. It's made of wood, with a tiny little padded headrest and a cut-out for your feet. Not only does it look incredibly uncomfortable to sit in - do you have to crawl into it? - but the darn thing curls up right into your face, blocking your view. Look at the poor woman in the photo! She's probably looking out to her right because the damn chair is making her feel annoyingly claustrophobic. Now, I'm not one to complain about size normally... but man.. I mean... c'mon now.....

I saved the best for last... you know how they say a picture's worth a thousand words? I've got a million running through my mind at this very moment..... and not a one is the word "reading".....


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  2. We have a choice of over 2,500 seatings for you on Chair Blog.

    However, when people ask me "What is a good chair" I really wouldn't know;-)