Fucking Zombies!!! (A Review of Sorts)

Zombies hit Manhattan while you are in the middle of a corporate company meeting. Quicker than you can blink an eye, they are everywhere. People are panicking. The streets are clogged. And you have to make a decision.

Do you:

(a) Hail a cab?

(b) Walk 12 blocks to the subway and head out to Brooklyn?

(c) Run to your apartment?

This is the moment where all those Zombie books and movies are supposed to mean something. How many times did you sit there, on the couch, watching some dumb ass actors make some dumb ass decisions that ended up getting them cornered and killed? How many times were you yelling at them not to hide but to keep running, to remain out in the open, to leave the wounded and helpless behind?

Now it's your chance to shine! YOU get to choose what the character does. YOU are in control of humanities destiny, should you accept the challenge.

And we did. We accepted the challenge at 8:30pm this evening. My husband, my 8 and 13 year olds, and I snuggled up on the couch and passed Can You Survive The Zombie Apocalypse back and forth as we each took turns reading from it's pages.

We chose to run to our apartment. It's the smart thing to do. It's familiar. We can gather supplies. We can get our heads together before making an irrational decision.

We chose to answer the phone when we saw "mom" was calling, rather than ignore it and get wasted on beer. Mom made us take the ferry to get off the island, but the zombies were already out there so we ran and hid in a meat packing warehouse.

There were other people in there, Zombie aficionados, and we decided to cover ourselves in raw meat and cow guts to disguise our smell and "Shaun of the Dead" ourselves out into the crowd and over to the water where we would swim to Liberty Island.

But at the last minute, when given the choice, we chose to remain behind. We realized the plan was flawed. It wouldn't work.

As the others executed the plan, we attempted to distract the zombies, and wound up being chased by loads of them, straight into the meat freezer. Which is locked from the inside. Our frozen body was found two years later by the Army. We are not too smart. We lasted a whole 30 minutes. By 9pm, it was all over.

The End.

But it's not really the end. The cool thing about this book is the fact that we can start all over again tomorrow and make better decisions and hopefully last longer than we did tonight. We can read this book 100 times and come up with 100 different outcomes.

We LOVED this retro-reading experience! And, I don't want you to start judging me when I say this (even though I know you will), this was my 8 year old's first attempt at reading an adult novel out loud. Of course, he had to skip the bad words and replace them with "beeeeeep", but he had a blast!!

We have already made plans to pick it back up again tomorrow night and read it together to try to beat those fucking zombies! We're gonna show them who's boss! We won't lay down and play chicken, no way, Jose!

Family Fun Night at the TNBBC house has returned and it's all thanks to Max Brallier and his hilarous, heart-racing, nerve-wracking, blood-drenched roller-coaster ride of a story!