In 2023, I decided to retire the literary Would You Rather series, but didn't want to stop interviews on the site all together. Instead, I've pulled together 40ish questions - some bookish, some silly - and have asked authors to limit themselves to answering only 10 of them. That way, it keeps the interviews fresh and connectable for all of us!
Meet Christopher J. Stockwell. He was a homeless teenager. Now He owns a home. He was a high school dropout. Now he's an attorney. He was an alcoholic. Now he's sober. He was a kid well into adulthood. Now he's the adult parent of kids. He was alone. Now he has people. He was a punk rock teenager. Now he's a punk rock middleager. He was Jack. Now he's Chris.
Why do you write?
This question is in the preface of every one of my books.
The truth is, I have no idea. I started writing stories when I was a little
kid, and I just never stopped. I don’t even know why I write the things I
write. I mostly read horror and science fiction, but all I write is satirical
transgressive fiction. Writing genuinely entertains me, so I spend a lot of my
free time writing just to pass the time. I guess, most importantly, I have a
worldview, and I want to get it out there. I’m an attorney, and I’ve figured
out over the years that the best way to get people to hear what you have to say
it to tell them a story. That’s what I’m doing. I’m cramming my perspective
down your throat, but since I’m telling you a story, it tastes like pie instead
of spinach.
Describe your book in three words.
Attorneys gone wild
What’s the one book someone else wrote that you wish you had
written?
Ham on Rye by Charles Bukowski
What’s the single best line you’ve ever read?
Living like this is a full-time business —Irvine Welsh,
Trainspotting
If you met your characters in real life, what would you say
to them?
I would probably have to apologize to them. Specifically,
Jack from the Down and Out in Seattle and Tacoma books. He is a spectacular
mess, and I tormented him to the point of insanity. I’d definitely have to
apologize, but all that was necessary. I’ve been nearly as low as him. If I
hadn’t been tortured to the point of insanity, I probably wouldn’t have
anything interesting to say. I’m sorry I had to break him to make my point.
What do you do when you’re not writing?
I’m a workers’ rights attorney in Seattle, so I spend a lot
of time working. I have a wife, kids, and grandkids. Spending time with them is
important. When I actually have free time to myself, I’m at the gym, listening
to records, or reading. It’s a pretty boring existence, but it’s satisfying. I
was more interesting when I was younger. Back then, I was always black-out
drunk, high, or sleeping. It was all debauchery and excess. It was certainly
more exciting, but I actually prefer the boring life now.
If you could time travel, would you go back to the past or
forward into the future?
I would definitely go to the past. It’s so hard just to get
on a plane these days. I’m afraid if I went to the future, I wouldn’t
understand the technology or how to pay for things. How would I even get a
hotel room if I didn’t have a cell phone with whatever apps people use in the
future. It would be a nightmare. The past is simple. You just use cash for
everything. And you could get tons of it. You just bring one of those sports
almanac books back with you like in 11.22.63 or Back to the Future II. You make
bets, get the money. Simple.
Do you think you’d live long in a zombie apocalypse?
Honestly, I think I’d live a lot longer than I want to. My
family growing up were hardcore frontier Mormons. They’re like the people that
came in a wagon with Brigham Young to Utah. I don’t go to church, any church.
That said, Mormons are clever and hard working. Before I was grown, I possessed
every skill necessary to successfully survive a zombie apocalypse. The irony
is, I really don’t want to live through a zombie apocalypse, but I’m sure I
would somehow survive in spite of myself. The fact that I prefer a quick death
at the beginning of a zombie apocalypse, is probably the reason that I’d
survive it. When I was younger, I had a serious death wish. I constantly did
things that put me in genuine danger. The universe doesn’t do what you want. As
far as I can tell, the less I care about living, the more the universe wants to
keep me right where I’m at, right here on planet earth.
Are you a toilet paper over or
under kind of person?
I honestly believe this is a male/female thing. I have had
this conversation with many people, and I’ve never met a female who likes the
toilet paper over or a male who likes it under. My wife and I can’t even share
a bathroom largely due to this issue. Here’s the deal, if you’re pulling at the
paper from the end of the roll, both over and under work fine. But if you’re
trying to spin the roll itself to unfurl large amounts of toilet paper, over is
the only thing that makes sense. I like to spin the roll like I’m spinning the
wheel on the Price is Right, so for me, it’s got to be over. Maybe guys are
just spinners and girls are tuggers. I don’t know.
What’s the one thing you wish you knew when you were
younger?
I wish I’d known when to duck. It’s really hard for people
to punch you when you’re moving around a whole bunch. When I was a kid, I never
bobbed my head around when someone was punching me. Later, I actually learned
how to box, and I realized that you get hit a lot less often when you move your
head around. Also, using your arms to block punches is smart too, but that’s a
second thing, and you only asked for one.
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For those who prefer their romance novel served with a helping of satirical, subversive, and absurd transgressions, welcome to the Seattle City Attorney's Office. In the skyscrapers high above Seattle, lawyers toil day and night. Working-class roots keep Maria humble. A one-ton chip on his shoulder keeps Ben discontent. Unattainable Blue-blooded expectations keep Erin unfulfilled. Pull on your own professional camouflage and get ready, because sparks fly in the courtroom, but the real drama happens outside of it.
Transgressive author Christopher J. Stockwell's absurdist and satirical take on
transgressive fiction goes beyond the confined by norms paradigm and into the
glass towers above the city. Enjoy!
Or check out the whole series here.
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