Oh my, it's been a looooing time, but....
It's the beginning of a new month and you know what that means..
Time to give away our June Author/Reader Discussion novel!
We will be reading and discussing The Unmentionables
with author Lance Carbuncle.
Lance has 3 signed paperbacks (for US residents only)
and 10 ebooks via Smashwords (open internationally)
Instead of telling you what it's about,
why not let Lance tell you a little bit about it and share an excerpt?!
Set up page 69 for us (what are we about to read):
This is a conversation between the protaganist Greg, his quirky girlfriend, and his obnoxious best friend, Jim Halloway. They are discussing Jim’s problems with the scariest kid in middle school.
What’s the book about?
When a portal to the netherworld spews noxious fumes over an entire town, the villagers are collectively driven mad and direct their murderous rage toward one outcast youth. With almost the whole town set against him, Greg Samsa does the only thing he can, turning to his deceased grandfather’s occult paraphernalia to help defend himself. In the attic of his dilapidated family mansion, Greg builds an army of reanimated fetal pigs, stoner lunkhead servants, flying piss-monkeys, and raccoon bodyguards. Greg has taken all that he can stand. The villagers want him and his family gone. It’s all headed for a savage, gore-splattered showdown between good and evil in small-town Ohio.
Do you think this page gives our readers an accurate sense of what the book is about? Does it align itself with the book’s overall theme?
The excerpt definitely gives a good representation of some of the main characters and their personalities. Perhaps it doesn’t give a sense of the overall book because there are supernatural and horror aspects throughout that are not really reflected in the excerpt. But, one can get a good glimpse of the dynamics between Greg and his friends. And, yeah, I suppose it hints at the fact that some of the characters can get pretty gross. My books can be a bit much with the supposed vulgarity for some readers, so if this excerpt puts you off, the book probably isn’t for you. (Wow, I am probably the world’s worst salesman). Otherwise, if you don’t mind a bit of sick humor in your books, this also hints at some of what you can expect.
PAGE 69 1/2
Captain Jack and Fats Flannigan hang from the ladder outside of Greg’s lounge and scratch their claws at the windowpane. The furry masked bandits chirp and mew at Greg, begging admittance to his sanctuary. Greg walks to the window, and, in accordance with his no raccoons policy, flips the critters the bird and closes the blackout curtains in their pointy little faces. He turns up Little Walter on the stereo to drown out the creatures’ sounds, and goes back to sit on the couch with Kelsey.
“My asshole is really starting to get sore,” Jim Halloway complains above the music. He stretches out on the red velvet chaise lounge and locks his hands behind his head. “Wade keeps asking to sniff my fingers and he expects something nice. But I don’t think I can jam my finger up there anymore. I’m starting to get hemorrhoids. Something’s gotta give, and it ain’t my o-ring.”
Greg and Kelsey sit side by side on their own couch, laughing at Jim and staring at the TV, playing a hotly contested game of Atari basketball.
“Say what?” Kelsey giggles and mashes the red button on her joystick to dump a jump shot through the basket. “Doesn’t he know that Lori dumped you?”
“No, and I’m not going to tell him until I figure out how to deal with this. Apparently Lori never thought enough about me to even tell people we were an item. So for all Wade knows, I’m diddling her in between classes and he’s smelling her puss.”
“God, you’re grody,” Kelsey says without a trace of disdain. “Greg wouldn’t talk about me like that, would you?”
“No,” Greg says as his 8-bit baller steals the giant pixilated basketball and breaks down the court for a lay up. “But I would kick your butt at basketball.”
Kelsey drops her joystick and punches Greg in the arm. “Have you not a chivalrous bone in your scrawny body, Sir?” she asks as she knocks him over on the couch and leaps on top of him, easily overpowering the scrawny boy and tickling her fingers into his ribs.
Jim Halloway jumps in, too, probing his fingertips into Greg’s soft underarm area and ribs. They roll off of the couch as a big ball of flailing arms and legs, and onto the floor. Greg struggles against the tickle assault, laughing so hard that he starts to cry. A small wet patch begins to dampen his groin area. Finally, Jim and Kelsey let up. And they all fall back on the floor, gasping for air and laughing like lunatics.
This giveaway will run through May 9th.
Winners will be announced here and via email on May 10th.
Here's how to enter:
1 - Leave a comment here or in the giveaway thread over at TNBBC on goodreads. Be sure to let us know which format you prefer. (Remember, you must be a resident of the US to request the signed paperback.)
2 - State that you agree to participate in the group read book discussion that will run from June 19th through June 25th. Lance has agreed to participate in the discussion and will be available to answer any questions you may have for him.
ONLY COMMENT ONCE. MULTIPLE COMMENTS DO NOT GAIN YOU ADDITIONAL CHANCES TO WIN.
*If you are chosen as a winner, by accepting the copy you are agreeing to read the book and join the group discussion at TNBBC on Goodreads (the thread for the discussion will be emailed to you before the discussion begins).