Bored with the same old fashioned author interviews you see all around the blogosphere? Well, TNBBC's got a fun, literary spin on the ole Would You Rather game. Get to know the authors we love to read in ways no other interviewer has. I've asked them to pick sides against the same 20 odd bookish scenarios.
Zach Boddicker's
Would You Rather
Would you rather write an entire book with your feet or
with your tongue?
Feet. Writing a book with one's tongue conjures up repressed
images of Gene Simmons and his man-bun, and that would prove to be too much
strain. Dry-mouth, cramping, swelling – that sounds horrible.
Would you rather have one giant bestseller or a long
string of moderate sellers?
I'd take the long string of moderate sellers. That at least
implies that I'd be around long enough to produce such a string.
Would you rather be a well known author now or be
considered a literary genius after you’re dead?
A reclusive, well-known author now – considering the thin
possibility I'll be reincarnated as a literary genius with no ambition, due to
a paperwork error or computer glitch.
Would you rather write a book without using conjunctions
or have every sentence of your book begin with one?
I don't think I could go without conjunctions, so I'd have
to begin every sentence with one.
Would you rather have every word of your favorite novel
tattooed on your skin or always playing as an audio in the background for the
rest of your life?
I'd go with the tattoo. An engineer at Intel or some other
microprocessor manufacturer could probably fit 75,000 words onto a pretty small
patch of skin. The background audio option – way too many risks there.
Who would do the narration? Fran Drescher? Truman Capote? Walter Brennan? This
world is an unfair place, and these voices would be among my options, I'm
afraid.
Would you rather write a book you truly believe in and
have no one read it or write a crappy book that comprises everything you
believe in and have it become an overnight success?
Now that I've done the former, I'd be happy to write a
crappy book that compromises everything I believe in. It could be a useful
exercise that might lead to tremendous personal and spiritual growth. But, then
to know that thousands of people were duped into reading it would probably
cancel out much of that growth.
Would you rather write a plot twist you hated or write a
character you hated?
The hated plot twist would be easier to deal with. If I were
being coerced by an editor or agent into writing a plot twist that sucked, it
would be my first instinct to ask myself “how can I make this suck differently,
or suck even worse?” If I were able to come up with something that sucked
worse, I'd at least be able to take some ownership of it. Writing a character
you hate seems like self-flagellation, considering all the time you spend
writing them.
Would you rather use your skin as paper or your blood as
ink?
Skin-as-paper for smaller format pieces (postcards,
stand-alone sonnets, et. al), and blood-as-ink for longer works.
Would you rather become a character in your novel or have
your characters escape the page and reenact the novel in real life?
I'd much prefer that the characters in The Essential Carl
Mahogany escape the book and reenact the novel. Though, if that were to
happen, and I were there to observe it, I wonder if I'd be thinking man, the
book was way better than this bullshit!
Would you rather write without using punctuation and
capitalization or without using words that contained the letter E?
If not alive right now, there will be someone who, for
whatever reason, cannot use words that contain the letter E. Let that person
develop his or her talent.
Would you rather have schools teach your book or ban your
book?
I would prefer TECM be taught, especially to students
in rural areas. Banned books are a thing of the past, at least in the Western
world.
Would you rather be forced to listen to Ayn Rand bloviate
for an hour or be hit on by an angry Dylan Thomas?
I'll take my chances with Dylan Thomas. At least there's
some chance of dialogue with him, and possibly cooling him down enough to where
we could head back to my place and listen to Rush's 2112 on cassette.
Would you rather be reduced to speaking only in haiku or
be capable of only writing in haiku?
Speaking only in haiku wouldn't be so bad.
Would you rather be stuck on an island with only the 50
Shades Series or a series in a language you couldn’t read?
Give me the 50 Shades series. I can cut and paste with that.
Would you rather critics rip your book apart publicly or
never talk about it at all?
I would love it if critics ripped my book apart. All are
welcome and bring a guest!
Would you rather have everything you think automatically
appear on your Twitter feed or have a voice in your head narrate your every
move?
The Twitter feed option would probably be best. The vast
majority of everything I think is so boring that no one would pay attention.
Would you rather give up your computer or pens and paper?
I'm looking at my computer monitor now, thinking I wish I
could quit you.
Would you rather write an entire novel standing on your
tippy-toes or laying down flat on your back?
Flat on my back please! I need the rest.
Would you rather read naked in front of a packed room or
have no one show up to your reading?
Reading naked in front of a packed room would be ok. There'd
be opportunities to conduct some fun experiments and ask some awkward questions
of the audience.
Would you rather read a
book that is written poorly but has an excellent story, or read one with weak
content but is written well?
I would probably last longer
with the poorly written, but excellent story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zach Boddicker grew up living the country life north of Laporte,
Colorado. Boddicker holds a B.A. in English
and a MFA in Fiction from Colorado State University, which have proven useful
for his endeavors into publishing. In 2014, his short story “Equipment” was
published in “A Decade of Country Hits: Art on the Rural Frontier” (Jap Sam Books / M12 Studio). His
first book “The
Essential Carl Mahogany” (2017), which has been deemed evocative of
Nick Hornby, Hunter S. Thompson and Don DeLillo, is the first novel to be
published by M12 Studio / Last Chance Press.
In addition to his work as an author, Boddicker has been a staple of the Roots
Music scene along the Front Range for 20 years as a member of 4H Royalty,
Cowboy Dave
Band, Drag the River, and many others. He currently resides in
Denver with his wife and two daughters.