Always flattered to be a part of the Grab the Lapels blog tours because Melanie Page is doing such wonderful things to get women writers the exposure and attention they deserve. In today's blog tour post, Jen shares an excerpt from her newest collection FROM HERE, then breaks down the excerpt, sharing some insights.
Today is
the second stop of Jen Michalski’s
virtual book tour celebrating her new collection, From Here. The
twelve stories in From Here explore
the dislocations and intersections of people searching, running away, staying
put. Their physical and emotional landscapes run the gamut, but in the end,
they're all searching for a place to call home.
Read the excerpt from “Lillian in White,” a
short story from the collection, and scroll down to see the footnotes to get
into Jen’s brain and see what she was thinking!
EXCERPT:
Lillian [1] calls Roy [2] out
of the blue. It had been so long since they’d dated, for him, anyway, that he
doesn’t recognize the number in his cell phone. But he knows the voice that
speaks and is instantly filled with the warm giddiness of promise, the
delusional kind in which Lillian has made a terrible mistake and wants him back
[3]. He doesn’t know if he wants her back, necessarily, but he swings his feet
over his bed and pulls on yesterday’s socks.
“Roy, I know it’s been a long
time, but I have a favor to ask you,” she says, her voice breaking up as Roy
walks around the room, looking for a shirt [4].
Favor. Shit. He falls back on
the bed, suddenly feeling the need for a few hours’ more sleep.
“How long has it been,
Lillian?” He tries to remember Lillian’s specific features, recalls her perky
tits.
“Eighteen months, almost. Look,
I know this is probably a surprise to hear from me, but I’m not sure where else
to turn...”
“Well, with that opening, how
could I refuse?” Not promising in the least. He closes his eyes, rubs his
temples, wondering what he could possibly offer her. Does she need a band for
her wedding? Maybe his band, Fabric Softener [5], can play the song he wrote
for her. Not a marriage proposal, exactly, but a tacit acknowledgment that two
years together had been a long time. Maybe she needs some sort of underhanded
loan, or, well, Roy is running out of ideas. He’s not the go-to guy for many
things. But he agrees to meet her, anyway. He rolls over, trying to erase the
suddenly perfect image of Lillian in white.
She is not wearing white when
they meet, at one of those shitty trendy coffee places near his apartment. He
spent twenty minutes going through the few clean shirts in the closet and is
wearing a pinstripe v-neck sweater his mother bought him for Christmas last
year. Respectable, somewhat. Or something. Perhaps it will distract her eyes
from the mustard stain on his jeans.
It is certainly not his
dumpster-diving wardrobe that attracted Lillian to him, however. It was his
status as the lead singer of Fabric Softener, his creative genius and promise.
Or maybe chicks just really dug guys in bands. Lillian was hot, a theater major
[6] at one of the local college who was friends with a friend of Sam, the
bassist. Lillian was hot. But she also was smart and funny like a friend who is
a girl, like the fat chick with glasses who secretly has a crush on you and
makes you laugh so hard all the time. And sometimes bitchy. But that’s girls
for you.
But yeah, Lillian left him. It
was hard to believe they’d been together two years, long enough for Roy to feel
like it was for forever. Long enough to write a song for her [7], a song the
band never got a chance to play, because Roy never shared it with them. It lived,
in the closet of his heart and scrawled on the back of a grocery list,
unbeknownst to anyone else.
Lillian has a cup of tea. Roy
wonders if she quit drinking coffee. He orders a cup, black [8], and they take
a table by the window. The round table is so small his knees brush against hers
and he inhales her familiar scent.
“You look good, Roy.” She
smiles that little smile of hers and Roy feels like something is squeezing
meanly in his chest.
He cried—yes, he’ll admit it—cried
when Lillian left [9]. It was in a coffee shop much like this one, when she
dumped him, a Sunday morning after a party at somebody’s studio apartment with
no place to sit. Why he has agreed to come here today, when his life was pretty
good, manageable, he does not know.
“I quit smoking,” he answers
although [10], in his opinion, that has made him look worse. Ten pounds worse.
“Congratulations,” she answers,
and there is a hollow between them that is tepidly filled by the percolation of
coffee and people.
“So,” he says after a drag of
an imaginary Marlboro. “What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant,” she says simply.
AUTHOR INSIGHTS:
[1]. I’ve got nothing on this name, except a girl named
Lillian—or Vivian—sounds like a real prima donna, like wealth, a little bitchy,
to me. She has raven black hair and dark eyes and arched eyebrows, like an
actress in a movie adaptation of a Dashiell Hammett novel.
[2]. I love the name Roy—if I ever had a boy (although time
is short for such things), I would name him Roy. Not after Rogers—although I
did work in the drive-through at Roy Rogers when I was in high school—but after
Roy Rossello, a
member of the boy band Menudo whom I had a crush on when I was about 12 (yes, you’re
getting all the deep secrets here). He was Puerto Rican, had a bit of a shag
haircut, but warm pools of eyes, and I’m totally not embarrassed to say I think
he’s still cute. On a general level, I associate the name Roy with a
light-hearted, happy-go-lucky guy, a little slight and boyish, with dimples and
a crazy-nice smile. The kind of guy I would date, if I were straight.
[3]. I think someone had just broken up with me a few months
before I began working on this story, in 2007, so I was kind of half-waiting
for the call or the text or even a visit from her ISP to my website so I’d know
she still kept tabs on me or something—know you, delusional stuff.
[4]. I wish I could tell you how this story germinated, but
I really can’t remember. It’s somewhat controversial or sensitive, as you find
as you keep reading, but I’m pretty sure I had Roy and Lillian first, floating
around in my head, broken up and wondering how to get them back together, at
least for a day.
[5]. It’s always been an obsession of mine to think of
imaginary names for the bands I would start, once I learned how to play the
bass or take up the clarinet again (and before you laugh, when I saw Patti
Smith in concert, she whipped out her clarinet and it was awesome). In college,
my friends and I joked we would start a band called the Electric Dandelions
(after those plasma balls you can buy at head shops). We wrote a bunch of song
titles, several albums’ worth, all having to do with our own private drug
references. We were too stoned most of the time to actually write the lyrics or
any music. After college, around the time Weezer was big, unfortunately, I
wanted to start a band called Wheezie (after George Jefferson’s wife, Louise
Jefferson). I would probably name my
band after some obscure lyric from another band I dug. I could go on, but I
won’t. Fabric Softener is actually not a name I would choose for my own band.
[6]. I think girls named Lillian would also be totally hot
and be theater majors in college.
[7]. When I was a freshman, a guy wrote a song for me. It
was one of my most memorable gifts ever—a song! —second to the Zippo he bought
me for Christmas with my name inscribed on it. (And we weren’t even dating!)
Anyway, the problem with the song is that he was a bass player and when he
played it for me, he could only play the bass line, so it was hard to envision
the rest. He was a huge King
Crimson fan, and I always am relieved
to have heard only the bass line, because maybe it sounded like a King Crimson
song.
[8]. I only developed a taste for coffee a few years ago,
probably because of all the candy coffees out there now (thanks, Starbucks).
But it’s more like I drink flavored creamer and put a little coffee in it to
convince myself I’m not drinking flavored creamer.
[9]. I am terrible and pathetic at breakups. I’m not stalky,
but I will cry totally out of proportion, like I’ve lost my entire family in a
plane crash. It’s embarrassing and sad.
[10]. The longest I’ve gone
without a cigarette since college is two years. It’s a terrible, addictive
thing, and I think the government should bury all cigarettes in that landfill
in New Mexico next to those ET games for the Atari 2600 that everyone preferred
to light on fire and shoot into space instead. (God, did anyone ever win that
game? I remember picking up those Reeses Pieces, which looked like 8-bit dog
turds, and falling in the swamp (which looked like nothing, 8-bit or
otherwise).
*Tomorrow,
head over to [PANK] to read
an interview with Jen about the content of the collection. If you missed
yesterday’s post, go to the blog PhD in
Creative Writing to learn
about why Jen became an author!
Jen
Michalski is author of the novel The
Tide King, winner of the 2012 Big Moose Prize; the short story
collection Close Encounters; and the novella
collection Could You Be With Her Now. She is
the founding editor of the literary quarterly jmww, host of
the Starts Here! reading series, and interviews writers at The Nervous Breakdown. She
also is the editor of the anthology City
Sages: Baltimore, which Baltimore
Magazine called a “Best of Baltimore” in 2010. She lives in Baltimore,
Maryland, and tweets at @MichalskiJen. Find her at jenmichalski.com.